Becoming happier with your inner self

First let me apologize for not posting more often here but my running seems to have taken on a life of it's own.

Tonight I met this amazing person who also has an eating disorder and it sparked me to write something in my blog about it.

It never ceases to amaze me how this disorder can manifest itself in many different ways and then rear it's ugly head for no particular reason. It is something that I think about on a daily basis but try not to let it dominate my life. For me, it's all about coming to grips with who I am and how I want to live my life. I know that for me, it's all about body image and that is what usually triggers a bulimic episode. How people view me has little effect because it's how I see myself that I focus on.

I have good and bad days like anyone else who suffers from ED and what I'm trying to focus on is becoming happier with my inner self.
I'm not an overly religious person, but for me, I've found that I can control my inner peace by trying to focus on positive aspects in my life. My outlet to dump some, if not all, of my negative thoughts is my running. Many of my friends call me the "King of Junk Miles." What that refers to is running more than I need to.

However, only my closest friend knows WHY I have to run. It has nothing to do with training but instead allows me to start my day off on a positive note. If I have any residual negative feelings from the day before, I can go for a run, process them and then leave them on the road. I find that nothing even comes close to the feeling of peace I get when I'm running. Some people find this in art, music or reading. Whatever it is though, you need to find a healthy outlet to deal with what you are thinking about or eventually it will come back to haunt you.

Another friend of mine told me today that she thought I was running "away" from something. I've been thinking about that quite a bit and I honestly feel like I am running "towards" something. I think that "something" is becoming happier with myself on a more consistent basis.